{Gulp!}

I'm taking a big step today: Yes, I'm posting my blog on my Facebook timeline!

My blog has always been public. But there's a difference between quietly putting it out there and Telling Everyone
About It.

This is a big step for me because, although I like writing and do it best when visualizing an audience (rather than keeping it to myself, as in a journal), knowing that others actually read it kind of makes me nervous: Will I offend someone? {My foot often makes its way into my mouth - never intentionally offensive - I just forget to think before I speak...} Will I spot a typo after I click "Publish"? Could I have phrased that sentence better? Am I revealing too much about myself? Too little? Will people think my musings on life and my little stories are trivial? {Some days, yes, my posts may be about mundane events in my midwestern suburban life. I'll try to make them humorous, at least. But other days, I promise I'll dig deeper!}

I've mentioned that I like to visualize you, my audience. Not in a stalker/creepy kind of way. In a greeting-an-old-friend kind of way. Don't worry - you're always clothed. And taking a break from your own mundane tasks. And paying rapt attention to every word I've written! So for those of you who also like to visualize, here's a picture of my spot.

I'm a little camera-shy, so there's no "me" in this
picture. You'll have to use your imagination.
Oh, and while you're imagining stuff, feel free
to offer decorating suggestions. The walls and
windows of my new office are still bare!

Or I might write from here. Turns out, my favorite
comfy chair is also Bentley's favorite comfy chair.
(And the only one he's allowed on anyway.)
So I usually have to fight him for it...

OK, I'm stalling.

Gulp! Here goes...

Back at It

This is August 2012. My last post was in December 2010 - twenty months ago.

We had so many changes and activities in our lives that I could barely keep up, and this blog was a casualty. But I needed to come back.

{In the meantime, I fear my writing skills have deteriorated from disuse, so bear with me as I work out the kinks.}

Quick update on the last 20 months:

• We tore down a house, we built a new one, we moved in.
• I opened a boutique, became a working mom, then grieved when I closed its doors.
• My kids continued to grow and change, with my son surpassing me in height, and the girls closing in fast. I'm now the mom of a high-schooler and two middle-schoolers.
• We put our "old" house on the market. End of story. Wish I could say it sold.
• We began fixing up our new house after it was struck by lightning just six weeks after we moved in. The lightning not only zapped a lot of our electrical items, but it also started a fire, burned a hole in a gas pipe (yes, we're thankful for the fluke that caused the house NOT to explode), and also burned a hole in a water line, causing water damage. Most items have been repaired or replaced, but we're still waiting on a few. {Sigh} But all that really matters is that no people or animals were hurt...
• I put many enjoyable endeavors on hold (writing, lunches with friends, tennis & working out) while doing all of the above, and felt their absence profoundly.

Thankfully, we're all still here, healthy, and as one family, despite all the upheaval of the last two years. We appreciate all that we have - home, family, friends - and the rest is just "life experience."

One of the things I missed when I was too busy to think straight was writing. I may not be disciplined enough to write every day. But when I do, it's enjoyable for me and it allows me to share and think through the events in my life. Like my friends, I miss writing when it's not present in my life.

So here I am, back at it. Feeling a little rusty, but eager. Those of you who were previous followers of my blog will notice that I've changed the name. Since I'm making so many fresh starts during this phase of my life, it made sense to change the name of my blog, too.

I wanted a name that is a little more whimsical, and that reflects how life is not a linear path. I do appreciate life's zigs and zags (though not always mid-zig!) and how they keep life interesting and push me to learn new things every day.

So, thanks for finding Zigzaggy! This time, I won't stay away so long. But right now I'm going to enjoy a long-overdue lunch with a friend...

Speed

Yesterday, as promised, I was not a fire hog. Nope, we kept busy all day. The kids had their list and I had mine.

We didn't overdo it - I mean, it is Christmas break, after all! It's just that we weren't lazy.

I restarted P90X, and all my muscles are feeling it today! But what a wonderful feeling that is - to be achy and worn out from activity. Proving to yourself you're a living human being and that you're using all the parts you've got. Since being able to resume physical activity in July, I've been playing tennis 3 times a week, and walking regularly, but I was missing the strength training. And running.

Running. Yes, I really missed that. I'm not the fastest in these here parts; nor do I go the farthest distance (my longest achievement is a half-marathon), but it wasn't until running was missing from my life that I realized how much I want to get it back.

I do have to be careful, though. With 2 hip fractures in recent history, I am at risk for for more. The doctor and I have discussed this. I can definitely run again, but if I fracture my hip one more time, we're skipping the whole use-crutches-to-keep-the-weight-off-and-wait-till-it-heals approach and going straight for surgery. Pins may be the only way I can hold myself together.

Yesterday, it was time - time to resume running. My friend and I have a plan to gradually work up to greater distances. Key word: gradually. For now, we do 3 minutes of walking to 1 minute of running. But we'll work up to a majority of running, with scheduled walk breaks. Despite our slow and cautious start, I haven't felt this physically exhilarated in a long time! The intermittent speed felt great. My muscles, bones, joints, and breathing felt right. I was full of energy and enthusiasm and didn't want it to end.

I may never run farther than a half-marathon, despite having the more ambitious full marathon on my bucket list. Perhaps sticking to the 10k distance is the more prudent choice. Whatever my body tells me my limit is, I'll have to accept.

But for now, I'll take my one minute at a time, with a smile on my face and a lightness in my step.

Rejuvenated

Has it really been since November 6 that I've written an entry in this blog?

Didn't mean to let so much time pass.

I guess I really did reach my limit back in the fall. As I've continued to add challenges and occupations to my life - all good things! - other things have unintentionally fallen by the wayside. Like this blog, evidently.

But yesterday, I spent the day sprawled on the family room floor, in front of a nice warm fire, just doing nothing. NOTHING. That's something new. And that's all I was capable of.

Usually I feel guilty or restless if I just sit for a while in the middle of the day. Usually I feel more satisfied when I'm tackling that To Do list.

But some days, the best way to move forward is to stop and stay still. And it was glorious! I spent a couple hours in late morning sledding with the family - kids and adults alike - over at our new property. Afterward, we made lunch of leftovers (nice and easy), and then I promptly planted myself in front of the fireplace. Took a nap, read some of my new book, played around with my new laptop, chit-chatted with the kids as they passed through the room. But all from that spot. I did get up to eat the scrumptious beef stew my husband made - and then I promptly returned to my warm and cozy spot.

Today, of course, I'm back to The List. (I've even created one for the kids, and they're not even out of bed yet.) Rejuvenated from my lazy day yesterday, my list looks to me more like an Accomplishments List than a Chores List. After all, I wouldn't be able to handle two days of nothingness. I'm ready to tackle the revisions to the house plan, some tasks for my new business, some household organizational projects, a fresh start to P90X (bursitis after 2 weeks the last time I started it - but that's another story), and Day 1 of my new running plan with my friend. Maybe we'll fit some more sledding in there, too. Or a movie tonight. It all sounds good to me today!

Whether you're on break from work or school during this week between Christmas and New Year's, or back to the office after a holiday spent with family, I hope your day is off to a great start, too!

Goldilocks

We've "found" our architect!

Granted, it's merely the first of many (many, many, many, many...) decisions that we will make in the coming year as we build our new home. But, as the first big decision, it sets the tone for those to come.

The interview process was very enlightening for me. We chose architect candidates only from among those recommended by friends who had recently built custom homes and who were very pleased with the process and the outcome. So they all were highly competent, experienced professionals - none were selected simply by choosing a name out of the phone book.

Therefore, I felt they would all be so similar that it would be difficult to choose one. But, like the story of Goldilocks, it became clear that one was "just right." For us.

We spent about 2 hours with each architect. They all came to our house. We talked for a while, then took them to the new property so they could see the features of the terrain. The interviews were time-consuming but necessary and valuable.

Unexpectedly, we noticed one important and telling difference among the architects, and we noticed it within the first few minutes of meeting them: Whether they were "me-oriented" or "you-oriented."

For example, one of the architects didn't really ask about how we live, what we're looking for in a home, or what we dislike about our current home. He primarily discussed what he has done and can do. Not that it's wrong to confidently assert your own skills. After all, it's an interview process and we need to know what each architect can do. But it was too much about him.

Another was on the far other extreme. The first thing he said, after the pleasantries of greeting one another, was: "So, show me around your house. I want to know what you like or dislike about this house and what you want to do differently with your next house. Tell me how you actually live." I think my husband and I both fell in love with this guy right on the spot! He wasn't here just to toot his own horn, but to help us create a new home that's perfect for us. It was all about us.

Our Goldilocks, however, was a hybrid of Mr Me and Mr You. While we may not have fallen passionately in love with the guy at first handshake, we felt a connection that would serve us through the long-term process of building our home. He, too, wanted to know how we live, and what we want, and then showed us what he's done for others. But he also said this: "It's impossible to have a relationship with anyone over a long period of time without ever getting mad. You may be upset with me over an element of your project at some point. That's to be expected. But communicate with me, and we'll fix it so that you have the house you want."

Isn't this a fundamental difference among people we meet in all walks of life? Some are simply more "me-oriented," which can make "you" feel left out of the relationship. Some are clearly "you-oriented," but as delirious as the attention can make you feel, it may make you wonder what will happen to the relationship with you hit a snag and the passion fades? The lasting, more satisfying relationships are those built on mutual admiration and enthusiasm for one another, yet that acknowledge that there will be bumps in the road of life. It's how we navigate those bumps that determines the the longevity of and satisfaction with a relationship.

So glad we've found our Goldilocks architect! Next step: finding our Goldilocks builder...

So That's Where My Limit Is

All I wanted to do was add a new exercise regime into my schedule to kick it up a notch.

I've been reticent to return to my prior level of workouts since my injury in late February, and I'm tired of feeling not-so-toned since then. (And yes, you're right - that injury should be old news by  now. But it didn't heal picture-perfectly, so when I finally got clearance in early July to exercise again, the doctor stipulated I ease into my favorite pursuits. I'm back to tennis full-strength. But not running yet - just speed-walking a couple days a week. And I miss strength training.) I'm ready for more.

The program I want to do would be a great way to throw me back into the intense workout habit: P90X. It requires a 60-90 minute strenuous workout 7 days a week, for 90 days.

But I've just reached the awful conclusion that I I've hit my limit! There's no room in my schedule to add a 7- to 10.5-hour commitment to my week, without removing something else.

And I don't have anything else I can remove right now. My two biggest endeavors are (1) building the new house and (2) starting my new business. That's on top of working part-time for my husband's business, running the household, and managing the kids' schedules. And playing tennis.

I mean, I'm already getting up at 5:30 am. By 9:00/9:30 pm, when the kids finally go to bed, I'm exhausted.

{ s i g h }

I guess I have to face the fact that I can't do everything I want to do.

Or maybe I can squeeze it in every other day. Let me take another look at my schedule... 

Almost to the Day

On October 29, 1998, we closed on the house we currently live in. The movers came the very next day, October 30, carrying everything we owned.

Twelve years later almost to the day, on October 21, 2010, we closed on our new property. Yet there are no movers this time around. Not yet, anyway. We won't be ready to move until about a year from now.

It may have taken us 14 years to find our home - yes, this is what we'd been looking for all along, even before purchasing the house we live in now - but we've finally found it. When we heard this place was on the market, my husband and I didn't even need to discuss it. We both knew. We were going to buy this place. When the kids found out about it, there was no hesitation: they wanted to know how soon we could move. When we finally took the dog over after closing, he ran and ran and ran, stopping periodically to sniff the air or explore something on the ground. And when he ran back to us, I swear that dog had a smile on his face.

So it's unanimous: all 5 humans, and 1 canine, love our new home. And even though we have much work ahead in razing the existing home and building a new one before we can move, it does feel like home to us. It's where we belong. It's where we were meant to be all along. It isn't really a choice for us - it is destiny.