Dearth

From the time my children were able to write their names, they've written their own thank-you notes.

(Admittedly, we're still - as a family - working on the timeliness of those notes, but within a few weeks of any birthday or Christmas, the notes are in the mailbox.)

To make note-writing a little more "special," I typically custom-order personalized notecards for each member of our family. The advantage is that the kids have greater enthusiasm for writing notes that have their names or initials printed or embossed on them. The disadvantage is the lead time necessary to reorder the cards. Sometimes we unexpectedly deplete our supply and I have to find alternatives.

Such was the case this Christmas. The girls had a few of their personalized notecards left, but my son had completely run out. And with his birthday occurring right after Christmas, he needed double the supply that the girls needed.

No problem, I thought. There wasn't time to place a special order, but I figured I'd buy some nice non-personalized notecards locally. No problem, indeed - for the girls. There's plenty of funky or pretty or cutesy stationery available for girls of all ages. There was a problem, however, with finding appropriate cards for a tween boy. In my visits to multiple stationery stores - of all price ranges - I found there's a dearth of ready-made cards appealing to males between the ages of 6 and 50.

They've got the little boys covered - they're the cards with the little frogs or baseballs on them. And they've got the older men covered - as long as you like the formal look. But if you're in between? Slim pickings.

In the end, I finally found some cards on cafepress.com that have cool geometric designs on them that my 12-year-old "approved" of. Ordering online necessitated a lag time of a few days, but at least it didn't take as long as fully-customized notecards.

So we're back in business - problem solved.

But the bigger question, really, is that of etiquette - and from whom we expect it. {Just a second as I climb onto my soaopbox...} Are our stationery manufacturers implying that it's correct for girls of all ages - but only the very young boys or older men - to send letters, particularly the hand-written thank-you note, in this case? How will boys grow up to be note-writing men if they aren't encouraged to be note-writing boys?

I'm sure you'll counter that this is an electronic world. Invitations (e-vites) are sent electronically, letters (e-mails) are sent electronically, so logically it follows that thank-you notes should be sent electronically. And I'll concede that in some circles, that's OK. For example, if my son had pushed hard enough to send his same-age friends e-notes, I probably would have given in. I try to choose my battles carefully.

Miss Manners I am not. Nor am I an electronic prude. After all, I do publish my journal - this blog - online for the world to see!

But if someone takes the time to consider a person's hobbies and interests, then to purchase a gift, then to wrap and present the gift, shouldn't the recipient take the time to thoughtfully write a few lines on paper to show gratitude for the friendship and the thoughtfulness?

Yes.

And should such hand-written notes be limited to girls?

No. That's sexist.

As I hop off my soapbox, I thank you for listening. But now I have a few letters to write. With a pen and paper.