What Kind of Guy?

As you know, yesterday I published a text message I received from my husband while I was away last weekend, and asked for your interpretation of it. In case you missed it, this is the message:

"What time are you back today? The kitchen is a mess"

One might interpret this message to mean that the kitchen is a mess, and that my husband wanted to know when I'd be back to clean it up.

If you know my husband, you know that he just wanted to know how much time he had to get the kitchen cleaned up before I got home! He would never deliberately leave a big mess just for me to clean up. Especially a mess that was made on his watch.

But, if you know my husband, you also know that he's got a great sense of humor and a keen sense for the nuances of language. He composed the message with deliberate vagueness to provoke me. Of course, knowing him all too well, I didn't fall for it. Humored, yes. Provoked, no.

So I knew the kitchen would be cleaned up when I got home. But what I hadn't expected was the degree to which he did the job. The kitchen actually sparkled and shined! Such a lovely way to walk in the door.

And to top it all off, he told me that the kids had spontaneously decided to chip in with the household chores that morning. My son did several loads of wash without being asked to, and the girls tidied up the house so I wouldn't arrive home to things out of place.

Yes, time away is good for us all. It makes us realize how much we appreciate the loved ones from whom we're separated.

Maybe I should go away more often...

Provocative

The text message read:

"What time are you back today? The kitchen is a mess"

Hmmm... How would you interpret this message?

{Shamelessly soliciting your interpretations today - mine to follow tomorrow!}

His Lesson

If you have a tween boy, you know what a Ripstik is. In fact, you probably have one. But for those of you who are scratching your heads, picture a curvy skateboard, split in the center. The front and back boards are mounted on a bar and supported by inline skate-style wheels, enabling them to pivot independently. It's very wobbly and there are no handlebars.

Doesn't sound easy? You're right, it's not. I've tried it. After 30 minutes of practice and approximately 100 attempts, I could finally go about 20 feet without falling off. And it wasn't a pretty sight - arms flailing, I looked like I was going to lose my balance and crack my head at any moment. But the kids make it look soooo easy. My son has had his for nearly 3 years now, and he can go long distances, while multi-tasking(!), without falling off.

Until this week. While rushing home to meet a curfew, he found himself off-balance, causing the Ripstik to shoot out from under him. Instinctively, he put his hands out to break his fall. Instead, he broke his wrist.

Fortunately, it is a pretty "good" break - a simple fracture of his radius that will heal fine.

Some people have asked if I'm going to allow my son to ride his Ripstik again. It's not safe, they say, and his fall proves it.

But how do kids gain experience and test their limits if they're overly protected? I think it's so healthy - indeed, necessary - to make mistakes, in order to learn from them. My son told me that the reason he was careless was because he'd stayed too long at his friend's house, causing him to rush home to meet the curfew. He concluded, on his own, that staying those few extra minutes wasn't worth the short-term pain and long-term inconvenience it caused (he broke his dominant wrist, and the cast he'll wear for the next several weeks extends out to his fingers - so yes, it's mighty inconvenient for him).


Since he's just a few years away from driving, I extended our conversation to include visualizing him as a teenager in danger of missing curfew, but instead of riding a Ripstik, he's driving a car. This week's experience enabled him to see how a similar mistake, but involving a car, could result in a far more serious outcome.

He'll always remember this accident.

It's a reminder that he's not invincible.

And we all need reminding of that once in a while.

After a Break

The thing is, I really meant I was done when I said I was done. But, in retrospect, perhaps I was just burned out and needed a break.

Yet I missed writing this blog.

So I'm back - however, it's "limited back." Although I missed writing this blog, and felt pulled to return to it, my time for it is scarce still. Actually, probably scarcer than before. So I'm setting low expectations for myself: I might write only a couple of times per month, and if I exceed expectations, then I can celebrate. If not, I won't beat myself up about it.

I think of my departure from and return to this blog as using a break to discover what matters. Just like white space on a page, recesses in one's life serve a valuable purpose: to provide a rest, to organize ideas, and to direct attention.

So here I am.

I don't know where you are, or if you're still with me after a long separation. But if you are, I hope to hear from you as I share my thoughts, my joys, my struggles with you in the blogosphere.

More to come...

Run Its Course

When I first started this blog, it served these purposes for me:

(1) It was a vehicle for me to express my thoughts, in a format that required me to edit & polish a little more than I would a private journal

(2) It allowed me to find and develop my writing voice

(3) It forced me to step out of my comfort zone by opening my life to others - to strangers

(4) It was fun!

After nearly two years of this truly enjoyable endeavor, I'm ready to find a new outlet. In fact, I've already found it. Recently, my creative and intellectual reserves have been focused on starting a business that I plan to open in several months. Given the time requirements for my new business, I need to pare down my other pursuits. Except for my marriage, my family, and my home - which all ground me and provide the love and comfort I need to feel confident in pursuing my own interests - my other endeavors tend to run a rather short course.

In other words, when things get comfortable, I seek a new challenge.

Maybe I get bored with the status quo? Maybe I crave a little chaos in my life? I believe I need stability at my core, yet novelty in the way I express myself.

So I'm going to open this store in the fall, and with it will come a huge transition for our family, some chaos too, unpredictability, and excitement. In three years, when the store has jumped some hurdles and it's running predictably, I'll probably need a new excitement: so maybe I'll open a second, even a third location. Maybe I'll branch off into another niche, with an entirely new market. Maybe I'll write a book about my experiences. Something will come to me then. But for now, I just know that this is what I need to do.

So this will be my second-to-last posting. Thank you for reading and for being interested in the life of this stay-at-home mom of three in Cincinnati. Knowing that you're out there, reading my words, following along as I play this game of life, has meant more to me than you'll know.

And yes, I said second-to-last. I know some of you are curious about my new business, and I'd love to share the details with everyone! When the time is right, I will make one final post to spill the beans.

Thank you again for taking such a kind interest in this blog. I wish you all well as you continue in your own Game of Life!

Stuck

Occasionally I overthink something that really does not warrant the expense of so much energy and time. Then I get stuck. And it drives me crazy.

My husband and I are going to Cape Cod for a weekend getaway without the kids in a few months. The location was easy to decide, as we're piggy-backing off a business trip he has in Boston. And it was fairly easy to rule out particular hotels that didn't seem right for us. Finally, I narrowed it down to two bed-and-breakfasts that we both liked. But then I couldn't decide between them. I was stuck.

{You may have noticed the pronoun "I" used frequently here. That's because, although we work out what trips we're going to take together for the most part, I'm the one who plans the details. It works for us.}

When this happens, typically I just set aside my research and come back to it another time. During the intervening days or weeks, my brain stealthily works out all angles of the problem and when the time comes, I can make a decision easily.

But every time I pulled out my B&B research, I still couldn't decide. Then I'd put it away again. This really shouldn't have been such a big decision.

Last night I got out my research again. And I realized that the reason I couldn't decide is that these two B&Bs are just a block apart from one another, offer the same features, have nearly the same appearance, have received excellent reviews from Travelocity reviewers, and are in the same price range. So location, features, reputation, and price are not differentiating factors. Therefore, it really doesn't matter which one we choose, since we'll have virtually the same experience at either one.

Why don't I just save myself the brainpower and do eenie-meenie-miney-mo?

And now - Unstuck!

My Stupid Mouth

I can sympathize with John Mayer in "My Stupid Mouth": Sometimes I say the wrong thing at the wrong time or to the wrong person, resulting in my own humiliation as I try to explain that, no, that's not what I meant.

It's entirely unintentional. I'm not the type to "stir the pot" just to get people riled up. Some people think that's exhilarating, but it makes me anxious. I would never, ever, say purposefully something catty or unkind or misleading to hurt someone or cause chaos. And I generally don't like to draw attention to myself; negative attention would be a big no-no for me. So I certainly do not try to make these verbal faux pas. It's just that sometimes I forget to actually think before I speak.

At least twice in the last week I've stuck my foot in my mouth. Harmless stuff, all things considered, but oh-so-annoying. In one instance, a simple re-read of my e-mail message would have caught the mistake. Doh! {slaps forehead}

As I've mentioned in previous posts, through the years I have learned to laugh at myself. And I will. After I remove my foot from my mouth and use it to kick myself.