Unfortunately, my wallet contained only $2.00 cash - not enough to cover the $3.50 snack. No problem: I was armed with plastic. I laughed with the sales clerk about having to pay with a credit card for such a small transaction.Just then, the gentleman behind me (maybe 10 years older than I - does that make a difference?) extended his hand, containing $2.00, toward me. That, along with the $2.00 I already had in my wallet, would be enough to cover the yogurt.
Let's stop here. What would you do in response to his offer? Would you accept or decline? Would it make a difference whether you are a man or a woman? Would your age, in relation to his, make a difference? Would the sum matter?
Here was my reaction and my thought process to support it: I smiled and graciously (body language, tone of voice) declined his offer. Although hungry, I could have lived without a snack at that moment if necessary. Yet I didn't have to, because I could pay with a credit card. Silly, due to the size of the transaction, but doable. If I hadn't had an alternative means of paying, and really needed to eat (for example, for fear of passing out due to low blood sugar), then I would have accepted his offer readily.
In that moment, I felt comfortable with my response - politely declining his offer. Yet his response made me wonder if I had done the wrong thing: He slowly and reluctantly withdrew his hand. He didn't smile back at me. He looked confused.
Was it my obligation to accept money from a stranger - money I didn't actually need - in order to make him feel good? By declining his offer - no matter how nicely it was done - did I act rudely? Or was the decision to accept or decline the offer a true choice that I could make freely?
The moment lasted about 30 seconds in its entirety. Yet I've been thinking about it, on and off, all weekend. What would you have done?
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