Once upon a time, twelve years ago, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. I was in awe and I fell in love with him from the moment I laid eyes on him. He was perfect.
And then he became not-so-perfect-all-the-time because, well, he started to grow and develop his own personality and challenge his parents and fight with his sisters and express his own opinions and exercise his independence. My love for him has never been at risk, but that feeling of awe sometimes is.
Because he's not perfect, and neither am I, we misunderstand one another at times.
But this weekend, a wonderful thing happened. My son and I spent four days alone together in New York City. We saw the sights that he was interested in. I followed him in and out of stores that caught his eye. We ate burgers and pizza, his favorite items on any menu. We talked. We laughed.
What we did NOT do was worry about homework or chores or eating a well-balanced meal or any of our other everyday concerns. We just enjoyed each other's company, chatted about whatever came to mind, and hung out.
In the process, I regained that feeling of awe for him. Despite the really miserable, rainy weather, this kid did not even hint at a complaint. I realized that his lack of concern for having things preplanned and organized and just-so (a characteristic that I do not appreciate when it appears as lack of motivation to complete homework on time or to get his dirty laundry in the hamper) also enables him to enjoy life without having to rearrange it to suit a preconceived notion. He can just "be," taking in his surroundings and appreciating where he is in his life right now.
He looks a lot like me, but his personality, strengths, and interests are very different from my own. In our everyday world at home, the differences between us can cause disconnection. For both of us. But when I watched him - the real him - while on our trip, I could appreciate that his creativity, intuition, people skills, interest in anything novel, openness to new experiences, and adaptability to new situations are truly awesome characteristics. I really wouldn't want him to trade them for anything in the world. They set him apart from me and from others, and he will experience much success in his life, no matter what his report card says in 6th grade or how clean his room is.
Yes, I fell in love with my perfectly imperfect boy all over again last weekend. And I think he likes me, too.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment