Taking Matters Into His Own Hands

He's a dreamer, a wisher, a hoper, and a wanter, that son of mine.

Just the other day, after I had reminded him of a practical aspect of some situation we were discussing, he exclaimed: "Stop, Mom - You're putting too much reality in my fantasy!"

He always assumes the best-case scenario will magically materialize, and he never concerns himself with practical means or contingency plans. {I guess that's what I'm here for.}








Last weekend, our family went to the Auto Expo at the convention center downtown. We go most years, mainly because my son has had an interest in cars since before he could verbalize it. And it's actually useful to have all those cars in one place when we're in the market for a new car. But this year we aren't, so we let our son lead the way toward the cars he wanted to see, and the rest of us followed along.

Typically, he makes a beeline for the high-end luxury or sports cars. They fit nicely into his fantasy world.

So I knew something was up when his beeline was toward the plainer, budget-minded cars and small SUVs. Not just once, but time and again.

Could it be? I wondered. Nah, I countered, he's only 12.

But I mentioned my suspicion to my husband, and we both watched our son more closely as he continued to look at the practical, low-cost vehicles.

Yes indeed - the boy appeared to be car-shopping! Amusing, we thought.

After we returned home, he made another beeline - this time toward his computer. After an hour in seclusion, he emerged and was ready to talk. He confirmed that he had been car-shopping because, after all, he'll be 16 years old in less than four short years!

So, my fantasizer had turned into a practical planner - at least in this instance. He was looking for a new car that would be affordable for him. And the right size: not too small (we have told him we don't want him driving a sardine can on the highway), but not too large (so he won't be in the position of having to chauffeur lots of other kids around). Once he had narrowed down his choices to just a couple that he liked, he came home to check the price with options he would realistically want. After that, he subtracted the savings he currently has from the sticker price, and determined how much money he would need to save in the next three years and ten months. And then he wanted to brainstorm the ways that a 12-year-old could earn money.

Although my husband and I got quite a few chuckles from this somewhat premature and entirely unexpected car-shopping endeavor, I am really proud of my son. Until now, I wasn't sure if he would ever grow up to join us in the real world. (Not that I want him to fully give up his grip on fantasy - I sometimes wish I hadn't give up mine so early in childhood.)

But now I see that when it's something that's important to him, he does have the skills to compare and contrast, analyze, and plan.

Now if I could just get him to do that with his homework...