Costume

I think I'm going to wear a costume this Halloween.

The type of costume an adult wears makes a statement, of course. And once you put it on and step out the door, you have to "own" the statement. Even if you feel ridiculous or embarrassed, you have to wear it with confidence. Do you go for a traditional costume? Or sexy? Political? Witty?

My husband is running in the annual Run Like Hell 5k on the weekend before Halloween, and runners are expected to wear costumes. I had planned on running, too, and we all know that that's not going to happen. But I can still attend the after party! And since this is an adults-only event, we have greater flexibility in the types of costumes we wear.

I found a Borat mankini costume online, which I managed to convince him to wear for the run (over running tights and compression t-shirt -- definitely not au naturel). But his concession came with one stipulation: I had to agree to wear something equally embarrassing and over-the-top. I'm still mulling that over, so I haven't ordered his costume yet.

He suggested I could be a librarian (you see, I have these glasses that he and some of his friends are quite partial to...). But I think the effect will be marred by the crutches. So, along those lines, I thought a nurse costume might achieve the same effect, but with the twist of irony (nurse on crutches). Still not sure if I'm brave enough for that type of costume in public. And I definitely couldn't wear it again around the kids on trick-or-treat night...

Then he switched gears this week and suggested I should be an old woman! I had to agree that I could pull that off easily. I already have the walker. Just add a gray wig, fake droopy breasts, slippers, and an unshapely housedress, and I'm set! (And I could actually wear this one around the kids for Halloween.) So that one is a real possibility...



Then again, I already have a Bat Woman costume from two years ago. As-is, it's good for the adult event; add some black leggings and t-shirt, and it's family-friendly. The superhero theme fits more in line with a traditional costume with which all age groups can identify. But what about the crutches? Do I really want to be a flawed superhero? Still, my kids favor this one...


Switching gears again, I suggested we go as Bella and Edward, of Stephenie Meyer's Twilight vampire series. Romantic, I thought. Too romantic, he thought. So much for that...

We went to a party last year wearing homemade costumes with a more obscure intent. Some people got it, most didn't. When you go with that approach, you have to be willing to explain your costume over and over...

The decision still unsettled, I came upon a new idea this morning, prompted by the current fiasco otherwise known as the U.S. economy. And I was thinking of making the crutches an integral part of the costume, rather than a distraction from it. You see, if I dress as a U.S. dollar, accompanied by my ever-present crutches, then my costume becomes the "Crippled Economy" or "Weakened Dollar." The more I think about it, the more this might be the one...

At least most people will get it, even if they're laughing through their tears.