Expectations

The countdown started one week ago.

Only 7 days! Now 6! 5! . . .

On Wednesday, I told my friend I was so excited that it felt like Christmas Eve.

Finally, 9:30 a.m. on Thursday arrived. I met with the orthopedic surgeon for my six-week follow-up regarding my hip fracture. Bones typically need six weeks to heal; theoretically, my fracture should be healed now. But would it be?

Indeed, the x-ray revealed no sign of the fracture. All signs looked good. Is it too good to be true?

That cautiously optimistic side of me asked Dr W, "But is it really healed? Or are you just saying that because I just told you it feels like Christmas and I'm pretty sure the gift I'm about to open is the one I've been begging for and you don't want to let me down?"

He laughed. "No, it really looks healed."

After a few minutes of my micromanagment and the ensuing discussion about various marks I pointed to on my x-ray, I was satisfied. And excited!

The crutches will be with me for several more weeks as I gradually increase the weight permitted on the injured leg. For the next week, I can place 25% of my weight on that leg. The following week, 50%. Then 75%. When I meet with the doctor in three weeks, it's expected that he'll clear me for 100% weight on the injured leg. Now, that will be an event worth celebrating!

In the meantime, a physical therapist will guide me through exercises that will help strengthen the atrophied muscles in the injured leg.

The past six weeks have forced me to learn important lessons about myself. I've learned that it's okay to rely on a network of caring friends and family. I've learned that I don't have to do everything for my children; when given the opportunity, they will rise to the occasion. I've learned to trust my husband with errands and household tasks that were previously off limits (there's that micromanaging side again). I've learned that sometimes I dive too quickly and too earnestly into deep waters, only to get the bends. I've learned that the cliche slow and steady wins the race, like all cliches, is rooted in a human truth: with patience, I can achieve more over time than I can with recklessness. The list goes on...

Notably, I've also re-learned the importance of setting appropriate expectations. It was not an appropriate expectation for me to run a half-marathon in the time allotted for training. It was not an appropriate expectation that I could resume my pre-fracture activities a mere six weeks after diagnosis. Is it an appropriate expectation that it will take six to twelve months to resume running? And what about my plans to climb a mountain next summer?

I asked Dr. W these questions. Regardless of the answer, I now realize the importance of mentally setting realistic goals and understanding the challenges therein. His answers, based on his professional experience with other patients with a similar diagnosis, lead me to believe that the physical challenges in my Top Ten list are still achievable.

As I begin the slow process of working toward those goals, I celebrate that they're still viable goals. Now, I'll just be a little smarter in working toward them.