Atrophy & Rebuilding

The balls of my feet and my toes feel it.

My right calf muscle feels it.

My right knee feels it - especially when going down the stairs.

My right hamstring feels it, too.

Saturday morning, I gave up one crutch. Sunday evening, I gave up the other.

Today, I'm walking on my own two feet again.

Six-and-a-half weeks on crutches due to a stress fracture in my right hip caused all the muscles in my right leg to atrophy. The last time I was on crutches, for the same injury in my left hip, I actually measured the circumference of my legs. After five weeks on crutches, the unused leg became softer and measurably smaller than its counterpart. At that time, the circumferential difference between my calves was 1/2 inch and between my thighs was 1-1/4 inches.

This time, although I could feel and see the difference, I didn't bother to measure. I knew I wouldn't like what I learned anyway.

Even though it's so disheartening to see taut muscles become soft, and the shape of my body change for the worse, as I rebuild my strength, at least I have prior experience from which to draw. I have no doubt the right leg muscles will become strong, capable, and more shapely once again. {Well, maybe not as shapely as when I was 17, but good enough for 40.}

Today I took my first step (figuratively, and practically literally) toward rebuilding those muscles: I had my first physical therapy session this morning. Yes, my muscles ache now. But that's par for the course. Although I'm still in a bit of disbelief that simply walking can cause muscle fatigue, even though I ran a half-marathon just months ago, I somewhat welcome the soreness because it tells me that both legs are successfully working again. (Yet the hip itself doesn't feel any pain, so that's the important matter.)

I don't know how long it will be until I can jog again, but my therapist had very encouraging words for me. She thinks I can get back into the gym in about two weeks for strength training. For cardio, I will likely be cleared to use the elliptical machine and bicycle soon, as well. My predicted return to tennis appears to be May. Running is not in the near future, but is not ruled out for later.

But I shouldn't get too far ahead of myself. Today, I'm starting to rebuild those leg muscles so I'll be able to do the things I used to do. And reminding myself: I did it once; I can do it again.