It's been a busy week, with catching up on various items that were neglected the previous three weeks. I apologize to my loyal readers that blogging hasn't made it to the top of my priority list this week. But I'll share a thought that came to mind this morning...
During the past six weeks, people - strangers I meet during my daily activities - see my crutches and make comments or ask questions. It's friendly small talk, with the crutches providing a natural conversation starter. But what's interesting to me is that I've noticed that most of these conversations involve the other person making an assumption about my injury. Usually they assume I'm hurt in the same place and manner as they've had a past injury. They proceed tell me their stories, and we share a little moment together.
{In case you're curious, nobody ever assumes it's a hip injury. It's always a foot, ankle, or knee injury in their minds...}
It makes me wonder: when in my life do I make assumptions about other people? True, our brains are wired to make connections between new information we observe and old, stored information. Therefore, it's very natural that we humans draw conclusions about new people we meet based on our prior experiences. As a fellow human, I know I do this.
With small talk such as inquiring about someone's injury, assumptions are harmless.
But what about when it's about big things? Like assumptions about someone's character and values based on some visible characteristic of his or her appearance? Generally, I try to be fair and wait to make judgments about new people I meet. But if I'm honest with myself, I must admit that sometimes I don't give them the time. Sometimes I make snap decisions based on drawing a connection between a new person and other people who look or act similar to him/her that I've known. At times, this quick judgment actually works in the new acquaintance's favor; at other times, of course, it does not.
I've never professed to be perfect, and I don't expect the people around me to be, either. We're all on this earth to survive, grow, and experience inner transformation. The first twenty or so years of my life were mainly about the necessarily-selfish tasks of physical and mental survival and growth. The next twenty presented many opportunities for transformation through blissful and painful experiences, and everything in between. As I enter the third phase of life, I know I will continue to gain such experiences. But in addition, I feel acutely aware of an increased ability to internalize and learn from experiences, and to make myself a better person in order to enjoy my life and have satisfying mutual relationships with the people in it.
Oh yeah - and I can laugh at myself now when I screw up. Seems silly, but I appreciate that it's a very important life skill that I lacked those first twenty-plus years!
So, the next time I meet someone new, I'm going to be extra-conscious of how I form my impression of him or her. Because the story of a person is so much more complex than her or his cover.
During the past six weeks, people - strangers I meet during my daily activities - see my crutches and make comments or ask questions. It's friendly small talk, with the crutches providing a natural conversation starter. But what's interesting to me is that I've noticed that most of these conversations involve the other person making an assumption about my injury. Usually they assume I'm hurt in the same place and manner as they've had a past injury. They proceed tell me their stories, and we share a little moment together.
{In case you're curious, nobody ever assumes it's a hip injury. It's always a foot, ankle, or knee injury in their minds...}
It makes me wonder: when in my life do I make assumptions about other people? True, our brains are wired to make connections between new information we observe and old, stored information. Therefore, it's very natural that we humans draw conclusions about new people we meet based on our prior experiences. As a fellow human, I know I do this.
With small talk such as inquiring about someone's injury, assumptions are harmless.
But what about when it's about big things? Like assumptions about someone's character and values based on some visible characteristic of his or her appearance? Generally, I try to be fair and wait to make judgments about new people I meet. But if I'm honest with myself, I must admit that sometimes I don't give them the time. Sometimes I make snap decisions based on drawing a connection between a new person and other people who look or act similar to him/her that I've known. At times, this quick judgment actually works in the new acquaintance's favor; at other times, of course, it does not.
I've never professed to be perfect, and I don't expect the people around me to be, either. We're all on this earth to survive, grow, and experience inner transformation. The first twenty or so years of my life were mainly about the necessarily-selfish tasks of physical and mental survival and growth. The next twenty presented many opportunities for transformation through blissful and painful experiences, and everything in between. As I enter the third phase of life, I know I will continue to gain such experiences. But in addition, I feel acutely aware of an increased ability to internalize and learn from experiences, and to make myself a better person in order to enjoy my life and have satisfying mutual relationships with the people in it.
Oh yeah - and I can laugh at myself now when I screw up. Seems silly, but I appreciate that it's a very important life skill that I lacked those first twenty-plus years!
So, the next time I meet someone new, I'm going to be extra-conscious of how I form my impression of him or her. Because the story of a person is so much more complex than her or his cover.
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