When Life Gives You Lemons

Last night, while working the concessions stand at my son's school's performance of High School Musical, I ran into my daughter's former teacher.

We were shocked and surprised to see one another, and happily stole a few minutes to catch up.

This person is a beautiful, friendly, smart young woman who just happened to not be ready to teach, unmentored, when I knew her before. A year-and-a-half ago, her teaching contract with my daughter's Montessori school was not renewed (teacher speak for she was fired). Same went for her teaching partner, another young teacher with potential but not enough guidance. Although this was the right decision for the school, and the parents wholeheartedly supported it for good reasons, we couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the girls. They had the potential to become very good teachers; but they were fresh out of school, and they were not given the support and mentoring they both needed.

The firing came as a blow to both of them. This particular young woman was about to get married, and she and her fiance were building a house together. She honestly didn't seem to know what she would do next.

So when we caught up with each other last night, I attempted to come up to speed with the last 1-1/2 years of her life by asking her where she is teaching now and by congratulating her on her new marriage.

Turns out her life hadn't progressed the way I thought it would. After being let go from the school, she and her fiance broke off the engagement. She didn't move into the new house they'd invested so much time in selecting. With no job, no spouse, and no mortgage, she was left with infinite possibilities! She ended up taking a job in Hawaii for year, helping to open a new Montessori school there. She'd just returned to Ohio recently, where she is now working with children with autism. Although she hopes to return to Montessori teaching, she's finding this experience rewarding. Our conversation was cut short as the lights flickered, signalling the start of the show. We parted, each with a smile on our faces.

As she walked away, I was struck by the subtle difference in this young woman since the last time I'd seen her. She'd faced two very stress-inducing and life-changing events head-on. She embraced her unexpected opportunity, and traveled far from home, alone, to find a new path. Although our conversation was brief, she appeared more mature, content, sure of herself.

For that, I was happy.

Years ago, I found myself in a strikingly similar situation. Given my youth and my new freedom, I was willing to take a risk! I remember feeling certain that I would move to Boston. I didn't have a job lined up there, but I'd always found that I could get jobs fairly easily. I realized it might have been more challenging to find a rewarding job in such a bigger pond, with more fish, but I really wanted to try! Ultimately, however, I was persuaded by my father: What if I couldn't find a job? Where would I live? Would I be safe? Would I be happy in a town in which I had no established friends or family? His arguments were logical; how could I refute them? And besides, he and my mom had just helped me get through an unforgettable, heartbreaking ordeal; of course they didn't want me to make what they perceived as another mistake. Looking back, I know now that it was the right time to try something that wasn't logical. I would have been all right. And if I wasn't, I could always just come back home! It didn't have to be permanent.

So logic prevailed and I stayed in Cincinnati. It's a good thing, too, because within six months of that pivotal conversation, I met my future husband. We've been married for 13 years. We have a wonderful home, lots of friends, family nearby, and three fabulous children. Had I moved to Boston -- poof! -- this life would not have existed.

Do I regret being persuaded, by logic, to stay in the same town as my parents? Absolutely not. Would I have regretted moving? Absolutely not. Although that move would have been an emotional and/or intuitive reaction to my life's circumstances, it would not have been a disaster. I'm just not a reckless person by nature.

(My youngest brother, by contrast, simply chose to bypass the "logic" conversation by doing what he wanted, when he wanted, then telling our parents later. He definitely navigates his life primarily on intuition. As a result, he's lived unconventionally, and with great adventure. Still single at age 33, it appears he'll stay that way for a while...)

Back to this young woman: She made a bold decision to move thousands of miles away from all she knew. Her face glowed when she told me about that year in Hawaii. She came back, for whatever reason was right for her. I don't know what that reason was, but now I feel sure that it, too, was right for her.

I feel privileged to have known this young woman, and to have had her share her story of success with me!