A La Carte Catholic

Some would call me an a la carte Catholic. Yes, I guess I do pick and choose from among the tenets of my formal religion to create my own spiritual edification.

(I hesitate to post on a topic that can elicit such strong feelings from others. Yet my viewpoint is part of who I am, and I doubt that it's singular only to me.)

I was brought up Catholic. I raise my children as Catholics. At heart, I believe in the general principles of my faith. But I don't believe that the only way to salvation is by going to church on Sunday (or by observing several others of the human-imposed regulations). For me, it's about how you live your life, how you treat others, the code you live by.

And that's just not black and white. I can't draw a line in the sand and say, "All you people over here, you're the "good" ones. But only if you're Christian and you go to church on Sundays. And all you on the other side, well you're on your own." That just doesn't make sense to me.

I've known so many very good people who don't go to church regularly or at all (for simplification, I'm picking on this one outward sign of religious obedience). They may be Christians or non-Christians. Maybe even atheists. But they have solid values; they're kind to others and to the earth. They do the right thing. The real right thing.

And, unfortunately, I've known a few pretenders who seem to do all the "right things." I'll leave it at that.

{What gets to me the most is the abuser who makes sure he goes to church every Sunday. And the spouse who stays with the abuser because she's Catholic, and Catholics aren't supposed to divorce. So, Catholics are supposed to martyr themselves for decades, succumbing to the violent whims of an abuser? Really? Is that what God really wants?}

So, yes, I subvert the rules with which I disagree. I may go to church or not on any given Sunday. But that day, and all the other days of the week, I believe I live my life as a good person with strong moral values. I try to treat others as I would like to be treated. When I make mistakes -- which, as an imperfect human, I most certainly do -- I admit to them and do what I can to set things right.

Yesterday was the first day of Lent. For Catholics, this 40-day season of prayer and fasting represents the 40 days that Jesus spent in the desert, tempted by Satan, prior to his death and resurrection. I chose not to attend mass yesterday, but my children and I will observe Lent by practicing abstinence. Jesus' abstinence involved fasting those 40 days. Our version involves denying ourselves something we enjoy.

I may be an a la carte Catholic, but at least I'm ordering from the menu.