My Outlier

Ahem. I feel the need to begin this entry with the following note:

The first and last time I wrote about a book I'd just finished reading (On the Road with Francis of Assisi), the entry was rather long. And maybe not so interesting to others. Chalk it up to a combo of (1) my interest in the subject due to our shared Catholicism, (2) my interest in the location due to our recent trip to Italy, and (3) my ongoing battle with successfully editing my own work! I will try to keep this and all future book entries shorter...

Malcolm Gladwell is the author not only of Outliers: The Story of Success, which I just completed, but also of The Tipping Point and Blink, which I haven't read. (They're on the Kindle, but reading from any electronic device for an extended period of time is a turn-off for me. I like the pleasure of holding the book in my hands, two fingers poised at the upper-right corner of the page with the anticipation of quickly turning it at just the right moment, mid-sentence, to reveal the rest of the story on the next page. So, while I'm eager to read other works of Malcolm Gladwell, I have to get over my resistance to the Kindle first. Might be a while.)

I'm not going to rehash the book, as any Google search will lead one to ample discussion of the topic. I'll just assume that you've read it yourself, or that you've heard enough about it to be able to follow along, or that you'll Google it if you don't get what I'm talking about.

What is important to me is how I can apply Gladwell's research in my life. Specifically, as I read this book, the person who most came to mind is our son. His is an outlier. He is very bright, although that alone won't necessarily get him anywhere in life. He's got charisma, and that, along with the intelligence, will get him a little further. But still, he's got big dreams for himself. Will intelligence and charisma carry him where he wants to go?

It could, but...

... there's more.

To achieve the level of success that he desires and that he is capable of, he needs the right environment. This is where the diligence in parenting comes in. Gladwell's research illustrates the importance of environment in developing one's full potential. He needs us to provide the right environment to allow him to develop his skills. He needs to understand the expectations we place upon him. He needs to identify his primary skills, develop confidence in his ability to refine them, and work hard to hone them. He needs us to nurture him along the way, as he finds his path in life.

Of course, all our children need these things. We work every bit as much to help our daughters find success as they age, despite (or because of) their difficult beginning in life. Their personalities and competencies are similar to one another, and vastly different from their brother. Their IQ may not match their brother's, but they will find success as adults because they already are used to working hard and overcoming obstacles.

But a child, such as our son, who is born with innate characteristic strengths sometimes doesn't know how to work hard. So many things in life already come easily to such a child. He has to be guided to work diligently and with persistence. He could skate through life, and find success as an adult, but I know he'd always feel that something was missing: the great satisfaction one feels after working hard to achieve a much-desired goal.

He has to do his life's work himself. But in the precious few years that he's still a child, we need to continue to steer him within the environments that are right for him, and to teach him the value of working toward a goal.

That's my tough job as a parent raising an outlier.