Talk to Me

When you see characters on the big screen talking to themselves, don't they appear to have a mental disorder? Or that they're just muttering insignificant gibberish?

But wait a minute, I talk to myself!

I know I don't have a mental disorder. And the talk absolutely is not gibberish.

It's like my own little pep talk.

Some people start their mornings with daily affirmations. My little talks are kind of like that - except they don't take place at the beginning of the day. I have more of a just-in-time approach.

I thought of this today at tennis practice. Though I could fill a book with all the beginner's mistakes I make, an overarching challenge for me is assertiveness: my lack of it. Both my husband and our coach have described my game as "nice." That might be a compliment in everyday life, but on the court, nice doesn't get me anywhere! At least, not a win.

I can hit the ball hard. It's just not intuitive for me yet, so it doesn't happen often enough. But I've found that when I tell myself {imagine gritted teeth here...}, "HIT IT HARD!" - voila! - my success rate improves! Today, an opponent hit a drop-shot just over the net, but I was playing back near the base line. My partner was too far away to reach the ball, and I wasn't even expected to get to it in time, either. But took off running and said to myself {well, I guess I didn't keep it to myself; it came out louder than I'd intended}, "GET THAT BALL!" Then I did. {Imagine big smile on my face. But oops - the game wasn't over yet - couldn't just stand around and bask.} And OK, so talking to myself doesn't equate to success all the time (I've missed that same drop-shot more than I've hit it), but talking to myself definitely helps more often than it hurts.

Later, while mulling this over, I realized that I also talk to myself when skiing down a challenging slope. Maybe it's high and steep and fast, or maybe it's full of moguls as far as the eye can see. Whatever it is, I'm at the top and I have to get to the bottom. So I take a deep breath, and coach myself all the way down by talking to myself.

Our tennis coach has a twist on the talking thing... he says he hums some music to himself during play, and reaches a crescendo right when he hits the ball. He says he just does it naturally, but that it helps him focus on making contact with the ball at just the right moment.

So maybe you'll say I'm crazy, or maybe you'll say my little chats with myself are gibberish, but I realize now they serve me well. So I think I'll keep them in my bag of tricks.

And maybe I'll talk myself out of being so nice all the time!